Posted on

Make Failure Your Fuel

As summer and my birthday approach this time of year I am always reminded of how we are constantly afforded the opportunity for new beginnings.  Graduations, summer adventures, old chapters closing and new doors opening.  Yes, it’s a romantic view of our time rotating around the sun and no surprise, I’m a sucker for commencement speeches.  Abby Wambach recently delivered the commencement speech at Barnard College and it blew me away.  Wambach, 37, is a two-time Olympic gold medalist in soccer and Women’s World Cup champion and happens to have scored more goals than any man or woman in history.  That data point alone piques my interest as a former soccer player (turned soccer mom!)

The whole speech is worth watching (or reading).

She offered four rules and how to live by them: Make failure your fuel. Lead from the bench. Champion each other. Demand the ball.  

One of my favorite parts of her speech is this: “Failure is not something to be ashamed of, it’s something to be powered by. Failure is the highest octane fuel your life can run on. You gotta learn to make failure your fuel.”

In the spirit of disruption and ridiculous ideas from the blog post last week, you have to be willing to fail if you want to see real change. The challenge is what you do with that failure and how to let it fuel the change you desire.  Wambach points out that athletes fail all of the time. It’s part of their experience and what makes them better.  Failing helps you understand your will to win, and it also teaches you HOW to win.

Abby’s perspective on championing each other is also important.  How we hold one another up, connect with others and find common ground is where the action is.   “Joy. Success. Power,” Wambach said. “These are not pies where a bigger slice for me means a smaller slice for you.  These are infinite. In any revolution, the way to make something true starts with believing it is. Let’s claim infinite joy, success and power — together.”

Posted on

General Disruption

In the category of random and possibly inappropriate nicknames, I had a former boss who used to refer to me in public as “General Disruption.”   She gave me the nickname because, as she put it, I was there to disrupt the ways in which the organization was thinking about and tactically fundraising.  Of course, while that sounds sexy, in practicality, it is something else altogether and often hard to implement.  Disrupting organizational behavior, managing change and transformation, indeed, being disruptive, is HARD WORK!   It’s funny now as I look back at my 25+ year career in development; it would appear that I’ve been “General Disruption” several times…maybe I need a new baseball hat!  😉

Change starts with the courage to recognize the need for it while staying grounded in your core values – it’s important to let your values be your North Star.  Dan Palotta, who runs the Bolder Board Training,  recently shared the thoughts below about a recent visit to Australia and the Sydney Opera House. Don’t be afraid to be ridiculous – to be disruptive.  It’s where the real action is!

Dan writes, “The idea to build the Opera House was ridiculous. The architect who designed it, Jørn Utzon, was an unknown 38 year-old Dane when his entry was announced as the winner in an international competition. His vision for a “sculptural, curved building on the Harbour” broke radically with the linear shapes of modernist architecture. And here’s the thing: in the 1960s, they had no idea how to build it. You know those iconic shells or sails that define it? The challenge of how to build them confounded the engineers working on it for years, even after the foundation had been poured! Imagine pouring a foundation for a building you don’t yet know how to build!

Pouring that foundation, without knowing how to build the building, was a commitment – a declaration of possibility. It was impossible, but their commitment to it transformed it into reality. It now not only defines that city, but in many ways that nation.

Imagine if it had never been built. Imagine if some expert put a stop to it because of its ridiculousness.

If you’re not being ridiculous, you’re not exploring your true potential, as an individual or an organization. Everything in the world that makes us go “Wow,” was born of some absurd human being with a ridiculous, impossible idea — from the Eiffel Tower to landing on the moon to the idea of America herself. We are taught that prudence is sophistication. The opposite is true. Ridiculous is what really tests us. Stretches us. Forces us to use the full measures of our intelligence, creativity, fortitude and strength.

Anything less and our true potential for intelligence, creativity, strength and fortitude gets left on the table, never to see the light of day.

Resist the temptation to be safe, cautious and normal. Resist it in all things. Resist it with every fiber of your being. Lives are at stake in our work. Be ridiculous on their behalf.”

Read more about the Bolder Board and Dan.

Posted on

Love: The Heart of Fundraising

About three years ago my life was crumbling.  My marriage was over, I was trapped in a job I didn’t love, was working insane hours for a very difficult person and it was taking everything I had to hold it all together – for me and for my two kids.  I was laying up in bed at night crying my eyes out and praying for some glimmer of hope or sign to point me in a new direction.  My bucket wasn’t just empty, it had holes it in that seemed beyond repair.

I really couldn’t understand how everything I had worked so hard for seemed to be falling apart – I felt like a complete and utter failure; was my life over?  I was invited by a friend to sit in on her Board retreat to observe the facilitator.  I was mildly receptive to the invitation. I figured I had nothing better to do; I was feeling very cynical, and basically just went in on autopilot ready to be as critical and harsh as possible. I was closed.  As I sat there, I watched a very skilled fellow professional fundraiser talk about this work and what it means. I was challenged in a way that was unfamiliar.  And I was pissed.  I was being asked to think about my story of self, about why I do this work, what it means to me and how it feels – I was NOT being taught the finer details of Board governance, or how to make the perfect ask.  I was being asked to take money OUT of the center of the equation/conversation and think about how giving is an act of love; and how the work of fundraising is, in fact, about facilitating the movement of resources, yes, but more importantly, it is about love.

Why do I do this work?  Love!?  Yeah right I thought.

Fast forward to six months later and I found myself sitting alone in my house – (kids are at their Dad’s) and I am surfing the web…I find the Course on Exponential Fundraising at the Harvard Kennedy School, taught by that same facilitator, and with a full glass of Pinot Noir, I go ahead and apply online.  Now, I’m a Chico State graduate and the idea that Harvard would look twice at me was laughable at best.  I hit submit.

By this time I was seriously contemplating leaving the nonprofit sector altogether – opening a deli sounded like a good idea.  I make a great sandwich.  The idea that I would be accepted into a Harvard program seemed ridiculous.  Well, the joke was on me.  I got in!

So I came to Cambridge in September 2017 with a relatively open mind, but my heart was still, well, closed.  I found myself in the company of 40 other professionals from all over the world, with different perspectives, struggles and stories…all of my insecurities came out, “Am I smart enough?  Do I have anything of value to say or offer this group?  If I’m quiet maybe no one will know I don’t belong here.”  Yikes!

Our teacher was insisting upon total vulnerability and authenticity..never mind intellect.  She wanted our hearts in the room.  I couldn’t run, and I couldn’t hide.  Ugh.  For 4 days we talked about fundraising, systems entrepreneurship, about adaptive leadership and all of the other Harvard things you can imagine.  AND we also talked a lot about love, and about how to show yourself to another person and about how to tell your story to connect to another.    THAT she said, is what makes things happen – when people connect in real ways, love happens, and then resources move – that she offered, is the heart of fundraising.

Yup.

Today I completed the program and my second and final week in Cambridge after a full year of distance learning.   I am changed forever.  I have a completely new framework to approach work I DO love in new and unexpected ways.  Why do I do this work?  It IS because of LOVE!   Who knew?!  As I head to the airport soon to go home, I am energized, excited and I am ready to keep trying to change the world, and that work starts with me.  My heart is finally open.  I thought my world was crumbling three years ago, and maybe it was, but now it seems it was just my time to re-imagine my work (and my life) and start again.  THANK GOD!

As we concluded the program today we were asked to write our own version of the Hippocratic oath…in the spirit of transparency and accountability…here’s mine.  What’s yours?

My Oath
Sterrin Bird
May 10, 2018
Harvard Kennedy School of Government

I believe that we are all doing the best we can.  I believe we are all works in progress.

I will strive to really see others and let myself be seen.

I will come from a place of acceptance and invitation in all of my interactions – starting by accepting myself.

I will remember my experiences, my pain, my joy and my challenges – I will hold them and own them as uniquely mine.  Knowing that everyone has stories; I will share my stories freely and with implicit trust (and humor) to make space for others to do the same.

I will create connections – share my connections and share my resources and knowledge with others without reservation.

I will not be ashamed to say “no, I don’t know, or I don’t know how” and I will be willing to reach out and ask for help, perspective and support when I need it.

I will try to remember that I am enough, there is enough and that if I come from a place of gratitude and acceptance of myself and others that I am inviting LOVE to expand around me.

I will remember that issues divide us and values unite us and work in all of my interactions to find shared values.

I will share the truth of my lived experience with my children and help them learn to live their truth and tell their stories so that they can live in a place of gratitude, connection and in community with others.

I promise I will never give up.